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there goes my gun [Oct. 4th, 2005|05:33 pm]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |pixies]

i thought i'd finally update today. the last time i updated was exactly 1 year ago today. lol. i had school today and i ran into sarah. it was funny. she walked me to my govt class. what a nice kid! after class i came home and crashed out for about an hour then lillian picked me up and treated me to lunch at the olive garden. good stuff. we then went to forever art then to visit thelma. she gave me a boner as per usual. lol. her cat booger hissed at me and her other cat poopie felt me up. haha. i have to get ready for work unfortunately so i'm off like a prom dress. lol. i hope all the kids on my friends list are doing good. :)
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i want to be a cowboy [Oct. 4th, 2004|11:51 pm]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |the vandals- i want to be a cowboy]

here i am, watching SLC Punk! for the 2nd time today. this movie is pretty rad. i love trish! she's such a cool person in this movie. i've had a really great weekend. it all started friday, i went with janina to our friend joe's house. i met his ex-chic and this guy he goes to school with. julio and sarah were also there. it is sad sarah is leaving to SA soon. she's a really cool person and i wish her the best. i might go hang out with her in November when i go to see metallica.

saturday janina picked me up and we met lillian at my house, then we went to walmart then to pick up pizza. we stuffed ourselves with pizza and had gin and tonics. it was great! it was a nice little get together for janina's birthday! my sister and cousin were also there being silly! lol.

sunday i woke up to my sister trying to wake me up and squirting sun block on my leg while i was still in bed! i called her soo many cuss words, i was just cussing left and right (or right and left, as janina would say lol). i finally got up and got dressed so we could leave to go to the beach. twas fun. we just let ourselves drift out then we'd be like "shit, we're pretty far, we should go back" lol. that happened soo many times. lol. we got back from the beach around 6, i took a shower and changed then we went to eat at the olive garden. i came home and talked with my sister and parents for a while then crashed out all early, like around 10pm. lol.

today i went to lunch/dinner with janina to the olive garden for her birthday(which is really on the 5th but i work so i couldn't take her tuesday). after that we went to half priced books and hung out there for a long time. i was hoping to see my friend joe who always hangs out there, but alas, he wasn't there. i need to call him...he needs to call me! lol. we sat around looking at tattoo mags for a long time. i really want a star tattoo somewhere...i just dunno where yet. after that we went to barnes and noble for desert and frapps. i came home after that and i went driving around with my mom for like 2hrs. she rocks for letting me drive her car, i have a permit, so i'm thankful she lets me drive her car. i need to go get my fucking license this fucking week! so wish me luck on that!!! anywho...i guess this update shall suffice for me being away for so long! adios!
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i wonder if i'll see another highway [Jul. 15th, 2004|02:58 am]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |nico- these days]

okay finally an update for lillian! so she can have something to read, etc. okay i guess i'll backtrack because i haven't updated in forever! lol. monday i hung out with lillian, janina, and christina. first we went to fridays then to half price books. we saw joe at half price so we were all happy! lol. speaking of joe, i think i'll be taking him out to lunch today. i hope i'm alive at that time. its 3am and i have to be up at 8am...eek! lol. anywho...back to monday being janina's bitch. lol. she took out her "bitches"(me, christina and lillian) on a dante hicks dinner and a movie date. lol. me and janina kept making all these references to clerks monday and tuesday. she had a "how much does this cost?/do you have any new movies?" moment at spencers on tuesday. lol. we shall get to that soon lol. after half price we went to target for a bit. afterwards janina took us to see "anchorman" which was sooo funny! we got free drinks and popcorn! yay! lol. and of course the movie was free too. lol. i do believe after that we all went home. once again thank you janina for taking us out! you're super awesome! hehe. :) we all had a great time together. i hadn't seen lillian in forever so it was nice spending time with her! we laughed soo much, especially while watching anchorman. we are all suckers for will farrel! at times the four of us were the only ones laughing. or sometimes just christina. it was so funny. we were saying "fucking christina!" and laughing all loud.
tuesday i had lunch with janina and christina at cracker barrel. after that we pretty much walked around every inch of sunrise and padre staples mall. upstairs and downstairs. of course we made tons of stops. lol. i bought a bunch of cute earrings. i bought some cute 4gauge earrings but i'm not quite there yet! i'm at 6 right now and i'm stretching/tugging them when i remember to lol. i also bought girly earrings too. hehe. after there we went to walmart. we were going to go to dollar cinema but we wanted to walk around more. we walked around for a while then had dinner at mcdonalds there at walmart. we were all silly...especially christina and i if you know what i mean. haha. oh yeah we all saw sarah, the chic i use to go out with, and janina and christina were like "do you want me to beat her up?" it was soo cute! awww. i said no. lol. i didn't want to make eye contact with her so i just didn't look at her. i bought a bunch of stuff here and there. well not tons but some cool stuff. i had totally have been needing to buy pants and i finally found a couple of pairs yesterday. one at lane bryant and another at walmart. combined cost of both about $60. compare $40 to $20. i need to go get more at walmart cos they're pretty cheap and they don't look too bad. hehe. i'm just fucking glad i didn't have to buy stupid fucking trendy jeans with stupid fading lines and faded spots. those are stupid. stupid indeed. i ran into a friend of mine from work who quit about a year ago. she is a really awesome person. we were catching up and whatnot. she was telling me her old room mate who i worked with too is pregnant, that she drinks like a fish everyday, and is giving her baby up for adoption. how fucking fucked up is that? i had to share that because that is so fucked up. anywho...i'm listening to nofx. they remind me of high school. i think i first heard them in 9th grade. i haven't heard all their albums but "punk in drublic" is my favorite. so yeah...back to tuesday. after being out and about all day we girlie girls were tired!!! so we went home all early! lol. fuck fuck fuck. its late. lol it is 3:20am. i need to sleep! i don't want to cos its early!!!! lol. fuck it. i have to. goodnight all. sorry for taking fucking forever to update! take care. adios!
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cos nobody loves me, its true [Jun. 28th, 2004|01:59 am]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |portishead- sour times]

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possess nothing else belong to no one [Jun. 14th, 2004|05:23 pm]
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |blonde redhead- distilled]

oh my fucking god i'm fucking annoyed like fuck. as amanda would say..."i'm annoyed" hehe. today is my day off and i haven't done shit today. i got up, ate popcorn, watched tv and went to sleep again or something. i'm feeling anxious right now...brb...i just got back from throwing up this minute. i'm feeling better now. all of a sudden i got nautious. i dunno if its cos what i ate or from being annoyed and mad. my mom, sister, and neice are crazy. two of my sisters and my neice were about to leave to go to the hospital to see a friend of theirs who just had a baby, but then my sis and neice came back inside. before they left my neice was being annoying as fuck and was giving my sister attitude so i guess she kept it up in the car. my sister got pissed cos my mom left the rr door open when my sis was in there and she just started yelling, i dunno what about...i heard something like "i'm gonna start locking the fucking door"...maybe? lol. so they were yelling back and forth and when they stopped i went to the rr and it came out. grrr. i hate throwing up. this fucking sickness needs to go away already. thursday i woke up and it hurt really bad when i swallowed. friday afternoon before work i went to see this guy who isn't my usual doc (who has no sense of humor) and got some meds. i went to work and by the end of the day it hurt when i talked so i had to leave work cos i couldn't take it anymore. saturday i was feeling super shitty and i called in. i threw up 5 times that day. it was bad. my mom checked with my usual doc about the meds and turns out one of them usually always has the side effects i was experiencing including headaches, hot and cold flashes, vomiting and nausea...so she gave my mom a new med to give me and that one is working out better. yesterday i went to work and it wasn't too bad. i felt nautious when i first went in then it subsided a little later. i do believe that pretty much leaves us here with today...right this moment. lol. i'm feeling more calm now. i really need to clean my room...but i dunno when thats actually gonna happen! lol.

at blockbuster they have this awesome deal on movies...pay $25 and you can rent as many movies as you want in a 30 day period but you can only get two at a time. mine started thursday and that day i got thirteen and party monster. saturday i got american splendor and big fish. i might go later today and get more. right now i feel like going to practice driving. who wants to take me!? j.k. i dunno where anyone is right now...probably asleep, at work, or just doing something cool without me. lol. j/k. i'm out for now...gonna get something to eat. adios!
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let's do the time warp again! [Jun. 9th, 2004|10:09 pm]
[mood |crappycrappy]
[music |pennywise- perfect people]

i soo wish i could smoke right now. i have nothing really to do tonight, or rather, i have the choice of not doing shit. i went to the fridge a while ago to go get a beer but there is none. all i found were 4 smirnoff ice of my sister's...which i will drink tonight. lol. she even told me earlier today that i better not drink them but fuck it, if i can't smoke i'm gonna fucking drink them. lately at home i've been anxious and just very frustrated with the limitations that have been set for me by my parents, especially my mom. sunday night i went out and i had to fucking fight with her just to let me go...same thing last night i had to fight with her. i'm 22 years old and they should give me more fucking space. i have a lock on my door and my mom gets pissed when i lock it. she's like if you keep locking your door i'm gonna take the lock off. oh my fucking god! what the fuck is a lock for?! so what if i'm rolling a joint...so what if i just want to have it locked!....fuck! these are things people do in their rooms and if they have their door locked it means they don't want anyone to come in!
the only thing that is kind of okay with me is my job. i'm finally working where i want to work...but my days off suck ass. monday and tuesday. they told me yesterday, which was tuesday when i was at work about that. they gave me the option of having wednesday and thursday off so it took me all day to decide but i went ahead and took them off. today i slept in til 3pm or so and it was nice. around 5 i went to dinner with my sister and neice then came home. i've been in my room since and it has totally sucked ass. its barely 10:30pm and i'm waiting for my parents to go to sleep so i can go smoke. they would totally hate me if they knew i still smoked. right now i'm in the midst of a change in my life. i am not really sure what that entitles but i really need a change.
tomorrow im going to the dmv (department of motor vehicles) to take the test for my drivers license. i really hope i pass so i can fucking have it already!
i don't have high hopes of doing anything exciting tomorrow. i know i'm just gonna waste my time doing whatever i decide to do. there are endless possibilities in life but it all seems hopeless right now.
i don't know what to do with myself right now. i kind of want to watch a movie. i dunno what though. kill bill or donnie darko. or neither? lol. i'm out. adios.
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take me out [Jun. 8th, 2004|02:47 am]
[mood |highhigh]
[music |franz ferdinand- take me out]

First best friend: celina
First car: hopefully that will be very soon! lol
First date: 9th grade, to the library i think.
First real kiss: 9th grade lol
First screen name: gina18bean...i think
First self purchased album: probably kerplunk
First funeral: don't remember. i went to a lot when i was younger with my folks.
First pet: kitty, she was a calicoat
First piercing: ears
First credit card: dont have one.
First enemy: can't remember
First musician you remember hearing in your house: i cannot recall

Last cigarette: its been quite some time. years maybe?
Last car ride: coming home from work about an hour ago
Last good cry: it wasn't good, but it was saturday afternoon
Last library book checked out: fuck, its been too long.
Last movie seen: down with love last night on hbo
Last beverage drank: sprite
Last food consumed: popcorn
Last phone call received: janina last night
Last time showered: a few days or so ago lmao
Last shoes worn: aka the shoes i'm wearing right now aka the shoes i always wear--my converse--
Last cd played: at the drive-in- relationship of command
Last item bought: jolly ranchers @ wk
Last annoyance: my mom probably lol
Last disappointment: that i cannot stay up all night because i have to watch my neice and nephew manana.
Last time wanting to die: maybe saturday, i don't remember
Last shirt worn: cute ringer-t pantera shirt i bought this weekend
Last website visited: hotmail
Last word you said: goodnight
Last song you sang: beastie boys- ch-check it out

What is in your cd player? at the drive-in, rhcp greatest hits, a cd someone made for me a while back
What color socks are you wearing?: white
What Color of underwear are you wearing?: black
What's under your bed?: another bed, i have a day bed
What time did you wake up today?: around 1pm or so?

Current mood: happy
Current music: beastie boys
Current taste: cherry jolly rancher
Current hair: pink/red/purpleish and in in a ponytail
Current clothes: pantera shirt, blue jeans
Current annoyance(s): my semi-headache and commercials on mtv
Current longing: something to drink
current picture on desktop: a pic of a tattoo that was done by forever art's larissa i found on their site
Current book(s): i still have that page and a half of "strange deaths" i need to finnish lol.
Current color of toenails: purple
Current hate(s): my headache

My favorite..

1. Color is: black
2. Song is: too many to choose from
3. Scent is: vera wang perfume, which i finally bought!!!
4. Alcoholic beverage is: gin and tonic, dirty, extra olives
5. Favorite food is: pizza


1. Drove: a car
2. Lived in: my own place
3. Worked at: a cool music store
4. Could be like: the girl i just saw in a commercial
5. Had: pizza

okay....my first update in fuckin forever, i know. lol. i don't like typing when i'm away from work cos my hands and wrists hurt all the damn time. i finally got the job i had been waiting for for the past six months! yay! this job is way less typing and will be more me, so i'm psyched! i think my schedule will basically be the same and if so, that will be awesome! i'm probably going to work mids in a few months or so. anywho...must get to bed...i have to be up like at some insane hour like 9am...which is like in 6hrs or some shit. gtg. adios kiddos!
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some people want it all, but i don't want nothin at all [May. 12th, 2004|12:35 am]
[mood |highhigh]
[music |alicia keys]

alicia keys rocks my socks! hehe. okay i finally decided to update, but it is only because i'm waiting for my nail polish to dry haha.okay they're offically dry! gtg. j/k. anywho...the only plans i have coming up are to work more. lol. everyday something makes me realize how much i need a fucking car already! yay! i'm soo excited! they're showing g string divas on hbo! i haven't seen this in forever! this show rocks. hehe. some of these girls have the coolest shoes ever! lol. anywho...i must go now. will try to update more often haha. adios!
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Toe to toe [Apr. 24th, 2004|12:51 am]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |blondie- rapture]

right now i'm doing two things i haven't done in quite some time...updating and listening to blonde redhead. lol. its great. :) anywho...drama and whatnot here and there but everythings going okay for right now....

i had a doctors appointment on thursday to have my wrists, back and knee checked out. i was given some anti-inflamitory pills to take daily and they also took some blood to see if i have arthritis. i'm going back in about 10 days to see how the pills are working out. my back wasn't hurting that much today. lately it has gotten really bad. it sucks. hopefully my wrists are bad enough for my work to "accommodate" me by moving me over to prepaid. today sucked. lately i've been a little stressed/depressed over my work situation. i'm beginning to truly hate my job and some people i work with. one person who i thought was there to help me turned out to not be a person who gets things done when she says she will. i hate coming into work and not having a smile on my face. those who know me know that i always have a smile on my face and i'm always in a good mood. today i think i maybe smiled twice in the first two hours of my work day. i like prepaid soooo, sooo, sooo much better than directory assistance. i like that in prepaid i actually have to think to do my job. i always have to be on my toes. D.A. is so fucking repetative its retarded. i know that in charlotte north carolina there are three carolina medical centers...mercy, university and pineville...thats just off the top of my head. i have useless directory assistance info in my head. lol. if you ever need to get a toll free number, there is a toll free number search you can call... 1-800-555-1212. lol. or you can call me anytime at 555-1212 haha. lol. i'm like 1 of 80+ people at my call center and we have other call centers. lol.....anywho...i could complain and and complain but its fucking late and i'm tired. tomorrow i get to work where i like to work. if i put in extra time i'll only work in prepaid. from the 17th up til tomorrow i will have worked 18hrs overtime. thats 18hrs in 8 days. hopefully in a few months or so i'll have a good amount of $ saved up for a car. i still don't know what kind of car i want. anywho...i must get to bed...i have to get up hella early to put in some extra hours at work . hopefully i'll get to hang out with lillian, janina, and ricky tomorrow. i miss my hoes! :)goodnight. adios!
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the only time i feel pain, is in the sunshine and in the rain [Apr. 2nd, 2004|12:22 am]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |adam ant- wonderful]

at janina's request, i have to update about yesterday as well as today. lol. okay so lets start with yesterday.

i had an eye doctor's appt. at 10am and when i went into work more than 4hrs later my eyes were still dialated a lot so i could barely see my computer screen at work. it was really difficult to see things up close so i asked if i could leave for the day and i got the go ahead. so yep, i worked for about 15mins or something like that because i was running late too. lol. so yep, i went home and chilled out. later later i went out. i still couldn't see that much but i was like fuck it, i can still drink. lol. janina picked me up and we headed over to tgifridays. i had an ultimate junebug and two gin and tonics. yesterday after i tasted janina's gin and tonic i totally wanted a bunch. hehe. we left there and smoked then went to half price books. i bought a couple of old spin mags as well as some film mags. i bought rem's monster and an oasis cd. we left there and smoked and smoked and then met up with my gal pal (hehe) sarah and her buds at aloha (a strip club in case you didn't know). i think i saw my one of brothers best friends. lol. it was fun. janina was laughing a lot! it was silly. hehe. i had a couple of drinks but decided to wait til we got to the next place cos they had cheaper drinks. janina left and then we left about 20mins later to omalleys. they had $1 drinks so i had three gin and tonics there. we didn't stay that long then went to buffalo wildwings and i had a margarita and a half. they were both $1 too so i was all happy. lol. they didn't card me there. we got some food then left sometime after 2am. sarah brought me home and we "hung out" in my room for a while. i don't remember what time she left. it was nice. hehe.

so yes...we're on today finally. lol.

today i woke up and sarah came over. we layed in bed for about an hour. it was nice. i finally got up and i straightened my hair while sarah took a cat nap. she left then i went to work. late of course! there is soo much construction in this city right now that its getting a little ridiculous! i'm serious! lol. so yep...work was going fine. not too shabby then it happened. let me set this up...i sit next to my supervisor at work (cos she fucking rocks!) and behind us is her supervisor's office. her boss was there pretty much all day. at this time my boss was at her desk. so yep, i'm taking a call and this lady is like sooo not hearing me or understanding me so i raised my voice to see if maybe she just couldn't hear me right. and of course, like a lot of calls i take EVERYDAY, i had to repeat myself about 6 times and my boss's boss yells from her office "GINA!" and it freaked me out. i got off the call pretty soon after that and my boss was standing next to me already and she didn't get mad at me but was just telling me that i have to not raise my voice, i guess cos they both just figured i was yelling at the customer and stuff like that. i kept my cool then right as she was done talking to me i started crying. i told her that i would be right back and she could tell i was crying. i went to the restroom and hung out in there for about 30mins. it was retarded. i was sitting there and i just started thinking about how much of failure i am, how stupid i am for not finnishing college, how i'm late to work all the fucking time, how i don't have a car or a license and i'm already fucking 22, that i was gonna get fired, feeling embarrassed that i got yelled at, wanting to disappear, wanting to kill myself to get this all over with...etc. i wasn't going to talk to anybody but i decided to text message janina...i guess just to share what i was going through. i wrote something like i needed to die already to get this all over with and something else, i forgot. i was so embarrased, i was all thinking that when i went back to my seat i'd move reallly far from my usual seat and just try to be as quiet as possible. while i was sitting there, my boss came in to use the rr and she started talking to me after she was done. she said she was mad that her boss yelled at me like that, that she shouldn't have done that. and i was just crying. i told her about the call, my side of all that, and she understood. she felt really bad, i think she was crying too. aww. she is so awesome. she has a brain tumor and a cyst on her brain and she's just always so pleasant and super all the time. she is the best. i told her i was embarrased and that i was just thinking of stupid stuff and being all stupid but that i was okay. when i finally left the rr i went to my seat, got all my stuff and moved down three seats just so i could be out of sight from my boss's boss. i was about to log back in then this semi-supervisor came by and was all concerned. i started crying again. lol. i had just pulled myself together too. lol. she was trying to make me laugh. she is the best. she told me about something embarrasing that happened to her today so that made me feel better too, knowing that she didn't get all discouraged and she kept on trucking. when i started taking calls i was talking in a low voice, didn't raise my voice at all and was being a little emo still. i got moved to another product so i was relieved that i got to move from that spot. i love everybody that works in that other product so of course i felt the love when i moved over there. it was nice. at the end of the night i was telling my boss i had a huge headache from crying and she said she did too. she was telling me she thought her boss was out of line because it was her job and not her boss's to tell me that. i told her that when i go into work tomorrow i might not be sitting by her. i told her i love sitting by her but i still felt embarrassed. she said ok. so yep, i came home and its late! i have a doctor's appt tomorrow at 10am. it sucks. i totally forgot about it until an hour ago! i have to shave my legs....but i'm thinking maybe i don't have to. haha! thats pretty gross. lol. i'll probably go do that then crash the fuck out. i'm so fucking tired and i still have this headache! grrr! i even took some extra strength tylenol but it hasn't fully gone away yet. well...sorry for making this a long entry but i just wanted to get it off my chest. take care all. adios!
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